clouded monitor

clouded monitor

Lek 6 – Behind The Smile

Published by Owen Jones on 19 October 2015
Lek 6 - Behind The Smile

Lek 6 – Behind The Smile

Lek 6 – Behind The Smile

I haven’t been around much for the last two months, as my regular readers will know, because I have been writing the sixth book in the series Behind The Smile, commonly referred to as Lek 6.

Lek 6 took quite a long time to write. OK, the first one took five years and the second six months, but I did finish the fourth in thirty days (for NaNoWriMo 2014).

Lek 6 took me fifty days. For the sake of comparison, I should point out that all the Leks are 112k words long. It was the hardest of them to write.

Anyway, while I was ‘away’ writing Lek 6, several other things happened.

We had a four-foot Clouded Monitor lizard move into our garden, but my wife and our dog hassled it so much that it moved out again. Then a two-foot version moved in and a week later moved on as well. In my eleven years here, they are the only two I have ever seen or heard of. I think that that’s quite something.

Gail, our granddaughter, was one on September 21st, and it seems that all of a sudden she is learning to speak and do things she hasn’t been taught. She speaks several words now that tell us she wants something like food and water, but if she yawns and you say ‘sleep’, she puts a hand to her head and tilts it over. She also switches the fan on and off, opens sliding doors and looks for the remote.

Yesterday she was crying, which is unusual for her, and the only thing that was wrong was that her nappy was soiled. She did that again today. I love to watch her learning, but God knows how she can understand when adults use Thai baby-talk on her, because I can’t fathom it and I’ve been here ten times longer than she has.

On a less happy note, this blog spent two weeks switched off due to the incompetence of my host, Hostgator. They said that it is all right now, but it was down twice this morning for a few minutes. Steer clear of them until they sort themselves out. Oh, and if you want to keep tabs on your own blog, install the free Jetpack plug-in. It’s great – loads of features.

I am missing writing already, but I will stave off the pangs by posting to you every day until November 1st, when NaNoWriMo 2015 starts. I hope that you will join me in that. I still don’t have a clue what to write about.

And lastly for today, going back to Lek 6, the artist who made the first five covers for the Behind The Smile series has disappeared (from me), so I am having to redesign them all so that they match. (Writers of series take note).

So, if you have a few volumes with the original covers, you will still be able to purchase the first five the same, but Lek 6 will be different. Those starting to read the series from scratch should buy the new covers. The new Lek 6 cover is above, what do you think of it (on the latest one, the writing is not so cramped).

Amazon Image   Update 26-10-15: I have reread half of the first draft, so am on schedule to complete Lek 6 before the deadline. Please pre-order here: The Dream: The Story of Lek, a Bar Girl in Pattaya (Behind The Smile Book 6)

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All the best,

Owen

Podcast: Lek 6

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Random Occurrences

Published by Owen Jones on 12 September 2015
Random Occurrences

Random Occurrences

Random Occurrences

I don’t know what I’m going to write about at the moment, but I doubt if any one idea is worthy of an article all to itself, so I have called it random occurrences. Neem wanted to go to one of the nearby villages today to help a friend with the ‘Hundred Days’ of a relative. I should have seen it coming yesterday, when she made me a gallon of stew. That doesn’t happen often, but it always means that I am about to be left to my own devices all day.

By the way, a ‘Hundred Days’ is the last ‘party’ given for the deceased and friends and family. It can go on all day or several days, which is why it is acceptable to move it to the weekend. Today is Saturday – so all the signs were there.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind being left alone, it is better than having to go as well.

While I was sitting at my desk thinking about the above, Angun, the dog, started barking the bark that means invaders have entered the garden. She is never wrong and she points, but it is not always easy to see what she sees.. I looked, but saw nothing, and being afraid that her barking would upset the neighbours and get her poisoned, I reluctantly shouted at her to shut up, despite the fact that she was only doing her job.

An hour later, staring out of the window hoping for inspiration, I saw what had upset her. It was the baby Clouded Monitor sunbathing on our garden wall not ten feet from my window. I managed to get a photo, but it is poor. {Look in the red box). Try clicking on it and it may get a lot bigger – I think it depends on your browser. The animal is within the rd box in the centre of the picture.

I’m glad it’s still alive, I wasn’t sure.

You can also clearly see the haircut our garden got the other day. Before that, I wasn’t even able to see next door’s!

I am now at a friend’s writing this to you, overlooking an eight hundred by four hundred metre lake that they keep for breeding fish for their own table, and I’m going to post this article over the free, unprotected WiFi coming from the police outpost thirty metres away.

I would like to wish my friend Murray a very happy eightieth birthday from my wife and me.

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Owen

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Welsh Tits

Published by Owen Jones on 10 September 2015

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Welsh tits
Welsh tits

We’re talking about birds… Welsh tits – they’re everywhere in Wales!

I have been writing a lot recently about a new garden visitor. It goes by at least two names: the Bengal Monitor and the Clouded Monitor.
A man wrote to me asking why I used the less common name of Clouded Monitor in my articles.
“Well,” I replied, “living in Thailand, it seems daft to call it a Bengal Monitor.

Welsh Birds

Think about Welsh tits, for example… It would be like calling all the tits in England Welsh. It wouldn’t be accurate. We Welsh have our own tits, and we love our Welsh tits, as I’m sure the English do theirs.

If you are looking for something to read, you will find hundreds or articles (mostly book related), scores of book reviews and dozens of sample first chapters. Look for links in the Title Bar above, or start with these two below.

The Amiable Dragon Blog The Exciting Soi Nana

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Our Garden Haircut

Published by Owen Jones on 10 September 2015

Our Garden Haircut

Our Garden Haircut

Our Garden Haircut

My wife normally deals with the day to day running of the garden, and takes it in her stride. I think it’s one of her favourite pastimes, but three or four times a year she has to call in help. When this happens it’s usually after a period of exceptional growth like after a rainy season or if we’ve been away for a few weeks. The gardeners she hires then perform what we call a garden haircut.

This garden haircut is severe by European standards. Bushes end up looking like a collection of cuttings stuck in the ground and almost all greenery is removed with small scythes. Three palms and papaya trees were cut in half today during the garden haircut. It always amazes me how the plants recover from such brutal treatment in a week or so.

Anyway, yesterday, Angun, our dog was barking at the undergrowth outside my office and that usually means a snake. I saw something move very quickly, but my wife said it was our clouded monitor, now dubbed Lizzie. I didn’t tell the two lady gardeners today, because it is too difficult, but when they got to that patch and Angun started barking and pointing again I did try to explain.

They listened politely, but I thought that they either didn’t understand my accent, or were not scared being pro garden stylists, so to speak. I sat outside, watched the garden haircut and didn’t say another word. One woman was cleaning up under a large shrub, when the dog pushed past her barking and pointing again. I had to smile when she visibly started at Angun’s surprise intervention, but it was nothing compared to her reaction when a two-foot Clouded Monitor ran out between her legs with the dog following.

“Don’t kill it!” I shouted over the pandemonium, because the gardeners had their scythes at the ready. Angun chased the lizard first one way, then back to where they had routed it, then away and back again, until it finally ran up a tree stump and jumped over the wall into next door’s garden.

It was like a farce, but I bet they won’t ignore my advice the next time they come to perform a garden haircut.

It wasn’t Lizzie though, this clouded monitor was only half her size, so that’s two I’ve seen in eleven years in lass than a week.

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Owen

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Podcast: Our Garden Haircut

 

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Full Circle – Lek6

Published by Owen Jones on 9 September 2015

Full Circle - Lek6 - Behind The Smile

Full Circle – Lek6 – Behind The Smile

Full Circle – Lek6

I have not been getting on well with Lek6, the sixth volume in the series ‘Behind The Smile ~ The Story of Lek, A Bar Girl in Pattaya‘ or at least not in comparison with the others. I have written 16,000 words which amounts to about fifteen percent of the 112,000 words I want the book to eventually be in length.

I have also more or less decided on the title, Full Circle, which ties in with a lot of what I have written already and the ideas I have for future chapters.

I am not going to give anyting away about the storyline of Full Circle at this stage, which is chapter four, but I will try to think of something that won’t spoil anyone’s enjoyment of the full book after chapter five, or possibly ten.

I can tell you this though, it will be a miracle if I can get the same artist to do a matching cover. I have been emailing her but she is not replying. It is very worrying. Another thing that I can reveal is that my daughter, the cover girl, would like the sixth volume to be pink.

If anyone has any useful suggestions for a cover designer for Full Circle, please let me know as soon as possible, because I like to get the cover out of the way before I finish the story.

On a different topic, if you have been following the exploits of our garden visitor, the Clouded Monitor, I have an update. Lizzie was spotted roaming the village yesterday, but no-one has seen her today, which is probably a bad sign.

However, Angun, our dog was going potty this afternoon, pointing at a bush. I had a look, but couldn’t see anything. A few minutes later, she ran into the bush and I saw something about two foot long flash through the fallen leaves. I think it was a snake, but my wife thought that it was Lizzie’s tail.

I hope it was.

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Owen

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Clouded Monitor

Published by Owen Jones on 8 September 2015

Clouded Monitor - one of my garden visitors

Clouded Monitor – one of my garden visitors

Clouded Monitor

This is an update on the Clouded Monitor I told you about yesterday that has been living in our garden for the last two days.

I asked Neem if she had seen him today and she said that she hadn’t. Neither had I, but a friend reported having seen him twice, just wandering around as if he owned the village.

“He’s looking for food,” said my wife.

“Well, he’s not going to find many beetles walking down the road,” I replied.

“He’s not looking for beetles, they’re too small… he’s four feet long!. He’s looking for baby chickens”.

“It says in the book that clouded monitors eat beetles, not chickens”.

“I don’t care what it says in your book, if they only eat beetles, why do farmers hate them? It’s because they eat chickens and dead dogs and bite small children, causing their hands and feet to swell up. I can tell you now that if your friend doesn’t get out of the village soon, someone will kill it”.

Anyway, he was last seen crossing the road outside the front of our house and entering our neighbour’s front yard. I can’t see her putting up with it like Neem did, she will probably have it destroyed, but perhaps it has already gone elsewhere, because my office faces her house, and I haven’t seen a band of jubilant hunters in there yet.

I told Neem that it is an endangered species, but she said it wouldn’t save it. People are more concerned about their children and their chickens than the existence of Clouded Monitors. This is perfectly understandable, any parent would agree, but what we from the UK forget is that we killed off all our dangerous animals centuries ago, and if something escapes from a zoo, we can phone the RSPCA, and it will be returned to captivity.

However, those facilities or organizations don’t exist here, so the volunteers that you phone to have an animal such as a Clouded Monitor removed from your garden, will kill and sell it to cover their costs. Farmers know this, so they kill the animals themselves and enjoy a free meal.

Sad but true.

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Owen

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Garden Visitors

Published by Owen Jones on 7 September 2015

Clouded Monitor - one of my garden visitors

Clouded Monitor – one of my garden visitors

Garden Visitors

I haven’t written anything in this, my diary, for a few days for a couple of reasons, but I am writing today because of two special garden visitors. Anyway, first why I haven’t been keeping my diary.

Three or four days ago, I started writing ‘Behind The Smile’ 6, which I call either BTS6 or Lek6 (after the leading character). It has been slow going, which is very unusual for me with the Leks. The other five Leks have practically written themselves, so I hope this one will warm up soon.

The other reason is that I have been adding my 22 Megan novelettes to Smashwords and Kobo (four more to go). Then I want to put them on Lulu and Xinxii. It’s tedious work, but if they are not on sale, people can’t buy them, and my Amazon sales have fallen through the floor.

July, August and December have always been my best months for four years, but this year, July has been the worst with August looking set to be even worse unless companies that report ‘late’ (Apple, etc) have done a marvellous job – and I doubt that.

I wish I could find a reason for the rapid (40%) decline in July, but I’m stumped. I asked Amazon if my account was down, but they said it wasn’t and hadn’t been at any time. It’s a mystery to me. Do you have any ideas?

OK, and now back to why I had to write this post: our garden visitors. Yesterday, my wife came running into the house and slammed and bolted the fly screen behind her.

“What is it?” I asked never having seen her behave like that before.

“Dua Heer,” she replied with a shudder. I had no idea what that was. I considered a snake or a rat, but she sees plenty of them. “Please give me your snake book”,

I have a great little, illustrated handbook on Thai snakes and reptiles.

She leafed through it and soon found what had caused her distress – a Clouded or Bengal Monitor. “Old people say they are very bad luck. What does your book say?”

I love to see these unusual garden visitors. Apparently, our dog had chased it into a tree at the bottom of the garden. “It was very fast,” she said.

Anyway, it came back today and strolled regally past my office window, its forked tongue tasting the air to either side. “It’s only a baby,” explained Neem after locking both doors. Ours was about 1.20m (4 feet) long with a body as thick as a man’s arm, but they grow to 1.75m (5′ 10″). They live in holes in the ground or trees and eat insects.

“Do you think he’s come to live with us?” she asked “I don’t want him to”.

This animal has been on the Endangered Species list for forty years, yet my wife just told me that it will be caught and killed because ‘it brings bad luck’. I told her that she had better tell her friends AND family, that if I learn that anyone has killed this lizard, I well report it. Her response? ‘No-one will stop people, they don’tknow’. She meant that people don’t know the law and the police will never find out!

And that is true, sadly.

Our other, and more welcome garden visitors, as far as my wife is concerned, were two egrets, about a metre in height. They have made a comeback to the region to eat rice snails since farmers have cut back on pesticides.

All animal garden visitors are welcome by me, especially the Clouded Monitor, but the egrets were beautiful too.

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Owen

Podcast: Garden Visitors

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